It seems every human being experiences fear. Behind that fear, for each of us, is some connection with worthiness and value. Every Human Being, no matter how amazingly wonderful their childhood might have been, no matter how loving their experience of parenting; has received a download of “I’m not good enough.” Yes, we each have an alignment with unworthiness. Sometimes it is dressed in, “What will happen if I fail?” Other times it appears as, “What will happen if I succeed?” I’ve been a licensed Spiritual Counselor for more than 24 years. I have observed this underlying connection with unworthiness in each and every counseling session that I have facilitated. It doesn’t matter what issue one comes to address. Behind it is this belief in unworthiness or “I can’t have” wrapped in fear. My conclusion is that it is simply part of being human. There is no right or wrong to it. It’s part of our evolutionary path because we are here to evolve, expand and grow.
We tend to get tripped up by our fears and believe that, in fact, we can’t have our desires. But let’s look at where the beliefs actually start. As young children we are simply responding to the environment around us. We are observing information from our interactions and downloading this information. If a child is raised by an adult who has a fear of spiders that child determines that spiders are dangerous. However, another child might be raised by an adult who believes that spiders represent “good luck” and are a benefit to our environment and should be taken from the house back into nature rather than squashed out of fear. These children have received different downloads. Neither 2 year old is determining whether or not what they’ve observed is true or untrue. They take in the information and align with a belief. Children are downloading all the time. Our guidance can cause a child to believe that what they desire is not okay. A child’s behavior is controlled by others and is not necessarily aligned with what that child wants. The child who wishes to put its finger in a light socket and is told “no” is simply being protected, but it is downloading an experience of behavior being controlled by someone outside. There is an alignment with, “I can’t have my desire because I don’t know what is best. I have to behave a particular way in order for others to be pleased with me.” They aren’t reasoning. The child is simply downloading from the experience. These are very simplified examples of what occurs for the first years of our lives. We all have much more deep- seated experiences of outer control attaching us to unworthiness. The point is that these downloads become a part of the unconscious part of us. It is the part that runs the show called our life.
We replay our programming over and over again without any conscious thought about that behavior. It is simply what we do and they way that we do it. One day we realize that this behavior is not who and what we are authentically. When we become conscious that these rote behaviors are not getting us the life that we want to live someone comes along and tells us to change our thinking and change our world. They make it sound so simple. Simple it may be, but that doesn’t make it easy. This behavior that appears based on our programming (which is most of our behavior and thinking) is not occurring through thought. This behavior, which does not support our desires, is the replay of a recording. Changing behavior requires a re-writing of the recording. This requires disciplined actions and a willingness to become conscious that our previous conditioning and programming no longer have to run our lives. It’s just a download. It doesn’t need to remain our conditioning. Our perceptions and misperceptions can be changed through disciplined, conscious focus on what we have come to know as True. This way we let go of the attachment to the misperceptions and engage more fully and consciously with our desired life.
How can you begin to make this shift? Try this…
Set a reminder on your phone or computer for every 30 minutes. When that reminder sounds ask yourself, “What am I thinking?” Recognize whether or not what you are thinking in that moment is aligned with the desires that you have for your life. If you find that they are not in alignment, stop for just a moment and feel, envision and embody the desired life as already done. *
You will begin to make your dreams come true through the discipline of this exercise. Give it a try for just one week. Let me know how your life changes.
Francesca
* Examples:
If you are driving in your car and realize that you’ve turned down a wrong street and are now off your path rather than being annoyed, feeling frustrated, or calling yourself names change your focus. Recognize that life is always an adventure and you are simply being aligned with that fact through this situation. Realize that everything that occurs in your life has a purpose beyond what you can understand in the moment. Appreciate the view along the way. There might be something that you were supposed to see on this new road to lead you to a desire that you have. You just never know how the blessing comes. Maybe the blessing is simply that you recognize that you can have peace in any situation. It’s up to you.
You’re headed out the door in a hurry and realize you have to put gas in your car. In your head you now begin to calculate, “ How much money do I have? When I put gas in the car am I going to have enough left to eat the rest of the week? Am I now going to be late?” Rather, you can be grateful that you have a car to drive and the ability to put gas into it. You can know for certain that your need for food is handled by the Source that handles everything. Even if you have no money in your wallet after putting gas in your car your need for food can be supplied. You can align with the truth that every thing happens in Divine timing. If you focus on what you want rather than remaining attached to your usual thinking and behavior you give life to your desires.