“Boys, Don’t Cry!”
From early childhood the behavior of young boys is programmed by the words, “Suck it up!” “Quit acting like a girl.” “Boys don’t cry!” The list goes on and on. Crying is linked to weakness, which is associated with being like a girl, heaven forbid! Even when this programming isn’t practiced in the home it will find its way into their awareness eventually from the myriad of voices in society. Consequently, boys who are left untrained in the "how to" of expressing and managing emotions often become men who hide or misdirect their feelings. Suppressed emotions and stifled tears become anger and frustration accumulated within the minds and bodies of men. Because we live in a society that values the stereotypical masculine above all, innocent boys are encoded to become victims to anger and depression. Add to that the stigma in many communities of seeking professional counsel and we have a potential problem on our hands. This patterning of stereotypes often creates men who prey on others, finding a place to release their inner rage, or men who are completely shut down to any emotion at all. Frequently the pressure to live disingenuously leads to suicide in younger and younger men.
In my role as a Spiritual Wellness Counselor, I often hold a space for men who are ready to no longer hold back their tears. Contrary to popular belief, men must cry in order to heal. It’s a cleansing of sorts, kind of like the bloodletting of anger, regret, resentment, feelings of insecurity, and painful memories. Any amount of released pressure cracks open the door to new ways of being and an inner alignment with the heart-space. Woman is an integral part of Man's healing from societal stereotypes because she is created to be the motivation and inspiration for men, children and other women. Partner, wife, friend, mother, sister, daughter, Spiritual Counselor; it matters not, when she represents an open-hearted, safe place for him to express authentically, without judgment, she inspires healing and receives greater healing within herself. Feelings that have been hidden within for many years are often released through tears. An awakened woman knows that tears are not a sign of weakness. Rather, they signify self-assurance and fortitude. It takes courage and strength for Man to cry. After allowing tears to flow men have often felt a sense of relief and calmness – a feeling that they have perhaps never before experienced!
Crying is a form of nonverbal communication. Babies do it and so can you!